I met the man who would become my husband in the most unexpected way on an Air India flight to Beirut in late 1973. I was a cabin crew member, and he was one of the passengers. The flight was turbulent, and I was focused on just getting through the service without getting sick, flying often made me nauseous.
At one point, he asked my name. I simply said, “Tonsing.” That was it. I disembarked in Beirut and thought nothing more of it. At the time, I was posted in London. A few weeks later, Air India forwarded me a letter — then two more. They were from the same passenger. I hadn’t even caught his full name, yet here he was, asking to be introduced properly. My housemate Roma read the letters and said, “He’s serious about you, even though you’ve barely met.”
In the last letter, he said he would be in London with friends: Bob and June Bonner, and hoped to meet me. Roma convinced me to write back. I gave my address in Hounslow, and we arranged to meet at The Ritz, followed by a visit to the first Chinese Arts Exhibition.
When the day came, I got cold feet. I told Roma I wasn’t going. She locked the door behind me and said, “You’re going.” I took the train to Green Park, arriving three hours late. He was still there, pacing under the covered arcade. Bob and June were inside the bar.
We had a meal at The Ritz, went to the exhibition, then for a quiet drink. He sent me home in a taxi. That meeting was the beginning of a relationship that lasted three years before he wrote to my father asking for my hand. We were married on March 12, 1976, in a Registry Office in Macclesfield. My father, who couldn’t attend in person, held a proxy wedding at Jireh House, our residence, on the same day.
Back in the UK, I started getting involved in voluntary work through Betty Whitworth and Joan Barnes, both respected figures in Cheshire and Greater Manchester. Over the years, I served in various public roles: Magistrate (Justice of the Peace), General Commissioner of Income Tax, and on the Board of Visitors for Styal Women’s Prison — a Home Office appointment. I also helped organise the Portico Prize for Literature, often described as the “Booker of the North.”
Then, in 2001, a letter arrived unexpectedly from the Office of the Lord Lieutenant of Greater Manchester. He represented the Queen and wanted to know if I would consider becoming one of his Deputy Lieutenants. I was stunned. My husband and I had no idea who had recommended me; to this day, I still don’t know. The Lord Lieutenant gave me little information, just said, “If you agree, the Queen will need to approve it. But don’t tell anyone until it’s official.”
It took nearly two years. I assume there were background checks and vetting processes. Then, one day, it was there: my name appeared in the London Gazette and the Daily Telegraph's Royal News Column. It was official.
As a Deputy Lieutenant, I attended royal visits, participated in community events, and helped recommend individuals and charities for recognition be it through Garden Party invitations at Buckingham Palace or the Queen’s Award for Voluntary Service. We also welcomed new citizens at the County’s Citizenship Ceremonies. Politics was off-limits; our job was to represent the Crown, not the government.
In 2003, I was told I was the first woman from the Southeast Asia to be appointed as a Deputy Lieutenant in the UK. I don’t know how many of us there are now, but I carried that honour with pride for two decades, retiring at the age of 75.
That same year, I was among 400 people invited to Buckingham Palace to celebrate the Queen’s Golden Jubilee and honour the “Pioneers of the Nation.” My fellow invitees included Nelson Mandela and Sir Cliff Richard. When the Queen approached me, she asked, “Where are you from?” I said, “Wilmslow, Cheshire.” She smiled, “No, no, originally.” I replied, “Imphal, Manipur.” Her face lit up. She spoke of the Battles of Imphal and Kohima. I remember her vividly in an emerald, green dress, carrying her signature black handbag.
From Imphal to London to Buckingham Palace: it’s been a long road. I’ve been deeply blessed, not just by the honours, but by the journey itself.
Khumi Tonsing Burton MBE JP DL has served in diverse public roles across Cheshire and Manchester (as Commonwealth Games Attaché, Portico Prize organiser, prison and aviation advisor, Chair of Greater Manchester Crimestoppers), and retired as a Deputy Lieutenant of Greater Manchester.
